In my previous post I wrote about Boots and Bertie, but realised they haven’t yet been properly introduced, so will remedy that oversight now:
Boots is a black and white cat. Like teenage boys everywhere, he’s constantly pushing the boundaries. Yesterday I had to take him to the vet’s for a sore paw, which he got fighting at night. Don’t worry, it’s on the mend now and is his own fault anyway for refusing to come inside when called… At around 6.00am, Boots usually decides it’s time he started his day. Most cats would meow to be let out, but Boots instead applies a strategy I call ‘fake affection’. That is, he comes up to me as I’m lying asleep in bed and sits on my face so I can’t breathe. He also nibbles my nose and tries to kiss me mouth to mouth while dribbling (so gross). One Sunday morning I was trying to have a sleep-in and Boots started his whole ‘fake affection’ routine. I was watching him more closely than usual and I saw him look back over his shoulder and take aim, and then plonk his big fat cat butt on my face where it placed a perfect seal across my nostrils. Boots was brought up with dogs, and he has a lot of dog-like habits. Anywhere I walk on the block he will follow me – one time he followed me up to the front gate for half a kilometre in the rain. Boots lovescompany – people, dogs, farm animals, he’s not fussy. When I moved into a share house he adored the dog and pig that lived there, and would play endless games of chasey with them.
Bertie may be small of brain and stature, but he has a big heart. He is a classic Australian budgie (as in, a nice traditional green colour and without the stupid boofy head that some budgie breeds have). His favourite activity is chortling. He knows how to say ‘Bertie’ and ‘Heyyo’ and does a great line in wolf whistling. He loves the sound of machinery – the gas lantern in the caravan, the generator, are music to his ears, and he gets so worked up he will seize his mirror in his little claw and pound it back and forth. Bertie is a go-anywhere kind of bird: he drove across Australia with me and sometimes I’ll bring him in to work where the sound of the printer sends him into paroxysms of excitement. When he sees me Bertie will leap onto the bars of his cage in the hopes that he will get a kiss. But he has a dark side: sometimes a kiss from Bertie is not a kiss at all but a sharp bite on the lips.
When the Ex left and I was feeling lonely, I would say ‘goodnight team Molesworth’ before I went to sleep. Everyone needs a support team in life. Granted, it would be good if one of my team members wasn’t constantly trying to kill the other one, but hey, you can’t have everything.